


Crescendo

by ywhiterain



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21683728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ywhiterain/pseuds/ywhiterain
Summary: Yuugi, in the aftermath of the ceremonial duel.
Relationships: Mutou Yuugi & Yami Yuugi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14
Collections: Yu-Gi-Oh! It's Time to G-G-G-Gift! [Mini-Exchange]





	Crescendo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beemotionpicture](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beemotionpicture/gifts).



The thing Yuugi really had to get used to was the fact he’s now alone in his own head. Ever since he completed the puzzle, his other self was in the back of his mind.

Or next to it. Or in front of it. Occasionally, in moments of complete unity, their minds were so close it was as if they were the same person.

It sounds terrifying and claustrophobic, being so intertwined with another, and there were times when terror was the only way Yuugi knew how to express what he felt about his other self. 

The terror that the embodiment of vengeance and anger and punishment was living inside of him. The horror of the idea that maybe it wasn’t the ghost of someone else, but the ugliest parts of himself given life.

But it was mostly good.

His other self wasn’t his best friend, (that would always be Jounouchi) or the love of his life, (that was Anzu, although perhaps his first love was a better description of how he felt about her) or any other version of a precious person. His other self was just another part of himself. Losing him was like losing a limb.

But instead of phantom pain of a lost arm, his mind and heart were incomplete. His soul, fractured.

He forced himself to try and get over that by calling his other self by his name: Atem. Named for the god of justice, loved by his people, willingly sacrificed everything he was to save the world.

Willingly sacrificed everything again for Yuugi’s sake.

Yuugi has played their final duel over and over again in his head. He’d obsessed over each card Atem had put in his deck, each choice he made, and hopes they both implied. Atem put his heart in his final deck and played to win. He’d never leave Yuugi if he thought Yuugi still needed him.

Atem never planned to win their final duel.

Yuugi was forced to confront this in the end. When Yuugi was strong enough, the nameless pharaoh would eventually rest. That feeling is what Atem put in the first God card.

The second God card was where he put his terror. Of how he would feel leaving behind the second life he built. There were a handful of memories that Atem never shared with Yuugi - a date or two with Anzu, a duel or two with Jounouchi, an argument or two with Kaiba - and Yuugi felt the echoes of those memories when Atem summoned into his second God card.

At fifteen or sixteen, Yuugi would have fumbled and lost. At seventeen, Yuugi took down two Gods before falling to his knees and sobbing. Atem could have a had a happy life living in Yuugi’s heart. Yuugi’s pretty sure he’d be happier sharing it than living it alone.

But it would have been even more incomplete than what he has now.

You see, there’s this new girl who visits the game shop. She lacks Anzu’s fire and Jounouchi’s loyalty, but she loves games. She loves them the way Yuugi does: innocently. She never plays to win. For her, winning is a shame because that means the game is over. Yuugi’s pretty sure he’s falling in love with her and he knows that Atem would like her very much, but he would have kept her at a distance. Yuugi also knows he wouldn’t have connected with her so deeply if he was still sharing his life with Atem. 

Sharing a body and soul with someone means sacrifice as much as shared joy. You have to compromise with family to live in a home with them, but compromising with yourself means you cut parts of yourself off.

It’s a tradeoff.

But he can’t help but think half of his body is buried in Egypt, half his mind exists in another plane of existence, half his heart is dead. 

Yuugi is the reincarnation of a nameless pharaoh. He never talks about it because there is no way to say my soul has always been incomplete but it’s okay. It really is.

He has a shadow of so many memories that are not precisely his own living inside of him. Atem, growing up, surrounded by love. Atem, fighting for that love without remembering them. Atem, finally getting an ending to his story.

Atem, reborn as Yuugi.

Yuugi is incomplete in ways few could truly comprehend. But he does know how to play a game with half a deck and a partial hand. And Atem voice, identical in construct, distinct in affect, is quick to remind him that Yuugi still usually wins.


End file.
